Hanging Bed description by Samantha
WALT: Show not tell
(EDITED)
After:
As I wake up to the misty sky and the cold air high up in the trees.As my haning bed hangs by 2 very unstable ropes very. As I lay on my duvet that my grandma made including the pillows. I lay on my bed writing in my diary I see something in the distance as I stand up to see what it was as I stand up the cold breeze blows on my face I could sense that something was wrong as I lay down about to drift off to sleep then BANG IT HAPPENS........... (TO BE CONTINUED)
Before:
As I wake up to the misty sky and the cold air I realize I am high up in the trees. My bed hangs by 2 very unstable ropes. I lay on my duvet that my grandma made including the pillows. I lay on my bed writing in my diary and I see something in the distance. As I stand up to see what it was, I felt a cold breeze blowing on my face. I could sense that something was wrong. As I lay down about to drift off to sleep, BANG IT HAPPENED......... (TO BE CONTINUED)
As I wake up to the misty sky and the cold air I realize I am high up in the trees. My bed hangs by 2 very unstable ropes. I lay on my duvet that my grandma made including the pillows. I lay on my bed writing in my diary and I see something in the distance. As I stand up to see what it was, I felt a cold breeze blowing on my face. I could sense that something was wrong. As I lay down about to drift off to sleep, BANG IT HAPPENED......... (TO BE CONTINUED)
Hi Sammy
ReplyDeleteThat is a lovely description! That is cool how your grandma made them for you! I can't wait till you next story/description tomorrow. See ya later
Zoe
PS: That is an awesome picture!
Sorry I forgot to tell you something to improve. Sam I think that you should not tell them what it is in the second sentence. But it is really good...
DeleteBYE BYE SEE YOU TOMORROW!!